I continually realize just how much I am in need of the Lord. This weekend, for example, was wonderfully hard for me. It started out great. Rachel and I went to dinner and a movie with a bunch of our friends. That was great for so many reasons. I was near the end of the row, but I could look down the aisle and all of our friends that God has so lovingly put into our lives. Each one of them so different, but so commonly adored by the same Creator. Each of us offering up a little bit of that affection back.
The night ends. All is well. The morning comes. And I reminded of why I love my wife so much. I wake up to her half asleep. She's been plagued by a bug that seems to have been bothering her since the beginning of winter. We instantly feel each other's presence and reach for one another. It's a warm embrace on a cold day. We get up, we get dressed, and we head to Cracker Barrel. It snows while we are there. It was a safe feeling.
Later, we headed up to see my aunt get married. It was a sweet moment for her. Her past being redeemed on a joyous winter day. The reception was nice. I love being surrounded by my extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. The reception went really well. Eventually everything is overshadowed by being intoxicated by the moment. I became too comfortable. Had too much to drink.
She took care of me. She hated every minute of it tho. What a graceful woman. Love is an extreme emotion. It can make you feel bliss in the morning, and can be a catalyst for you to get pissed in the evening. I am thankful that even in my mess there is a good hope. A Good Savior. A woman that knows him. And a good wife because of that.
Lord,
Help me to not be intoxicated by fleeting moments. Allow me to savor them. My wife is good because you are. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for giving her the strength to put up with me and my selfishness. Amen.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
words
“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em.” ― Shel Silverstein
"37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Jesus in Matthew 12:37
Not sure why, but these 2 quotes really stuck out to me today. For one, I love Shel Silverstein! I love The Giving Tree. It's one of my favorite children's books. I love what Shel's quote is essentially saying...The quality of one's life is contingent on their willingness to engage in it.
I find myself often disengaging from life. Whether it is with people, my job, my wife, or my Lord, I disengage. It's unfortunate, really. There is so much that I miss! So many moments that escape me. Rather, so many moments that I escape from. And when you finally wake up and realize every moment that could've been life changing...it's gone. Life is gone. So don't take these precious moments for granted. Take each moment for what its worth (good or bad). Embrace the day because today is the last of its kind. And for your sake show some love to the people around you because who knows if you'll have another chance to.
Say the things that matter. Save the irrelevant things for deaf ears and even then...reconsider.
Lord,
Help me engage this life of mine. Forgive me for destructive words, to others and to myself. Let me receive wisdom. I need a tongue of discernment. Also, make my wife feel better. She's feeling sick. Thank you. Love. Amen.
"37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Jesus in Matthew 12:37
Not sure why, but these 2 quotes really stuck out to me today. For one, I love Shel Silverstein! I love The Giving Tree. It's one of my favorite children's books. I love what Shel's quote is essentially saying...The quality of one's life is contingent on their willingness to engage in it.
I find myself often disengaging from life. Whether it is with people, my job, my wife, or my Lord, I disengage. It's unfortunate, really. There is so much that I miss! So many moments that escape me. Rather, so many moments that I escape from. And when you finally wake up and realize every moment that could've been life changing...it's gone. Life is gone. So don't take these precious moments for granted. Take each moment for what its worth (good or bad). Embrace the day because today is the last of its kind. And for your sake show some love to the people around you because who knows if you'll have another chance to.
Say the things that matter. Save the irrelevant things for deaf ears and even then...reconsider.
Lord,
Help me engage this life of mine. Forgive me for destructive words, to others and to myself. Let me receive wisdom. I need a tongue of discernment. Also, make my wife feel better. She's feeling sick. Thank you. Love. Amen.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
funny dude
It's funny sometimes how you can give advice and not heed your own word.
This morning I gave advice to this girl based on a television series, Friday Night Lights. I know, that's funny in itself! But! Let me finish. I noticed throughout the series that Julie Taylor, the coach's daughter, changes so much from the moment we meet her in episode 1 to the end of the series. She goes from this naive little girl who has just started high school to a someone's mistress in college.
There is this change that takes place in her. Its this place of disbelief and uncertainty of what her father has instilled in her because of what the world is offering her. Her value and her beliefs are beginning to sway with the winds of lies.
So she begins to act out. She frequently quarrels with her loving parents because she knows whats best for her. She pushes away from them and gives a piece of her soul to a boy. Willing to do whatever is necessary, she longs for that breath of air that can save her in this drowning world of lies she has dove in to. If only she knew that this breath that she needed was divine. If only we knew that we were suffocating ourselves.
Anyway, the girl that I gave advice to. I told her that she will be entering this stage similar to Julie Taylor. This stage where she thinks she knows whats best for her. Her parents and teachers won't give her, her "own personal space." You think that's what you want, but that isn't going to help you. "I just need some respect from them. They want me to respect them, but if you want it, you gotta give it." That doesn't matter. Show them love, and you'll be surprised how much love you will get back. Your parents have held you and kept you alive since the day you were born...you probably don't know what's best for you.
I soon realized that I needed to hear this more so for myself than for her. My Father loves me. He's kept me alive since the day I was born. When I was suffocating myself, He restored me with a divine breath. And yet, daily I know better than he does. And daily I suffocate myself to the point of death. Like Lazarus, he commands me to come back to life, to Him. And I do...
Lord,
I am a man of sorrow. A man of death. Corruption. Hurt. Pain. Save me. Allow me to cling to you. For myself and for those around me. I want to bring life to others because you first gave me life. Through you, let me pity the afflicted and shield the joyous. And all for Your love's sake. Amen.
This morning I gave advice to this girl based on a television series, Friday Night Lights. I know, that's funny in itself! But! Let me finish. I noticed throughout the series that Julie Taylor, the coach's daughter, changes so much from the moment we meet her in episode 1 to the end of the series. She goes from this naive little girl who has just started high school to a someone's mistress in college.
There is this change that takes place in her. Its this place of disbelief and uncertainty of what her father has instilled in her because of what the world is offering her. Her value and her beliefs are beginning to sway with the winds of lies.
So she begins to act out. She frequently quarrels with her loving parents because she knows whats best for her. She pushes away from them and gives a piece of her soul to a boy. Willing to do whatever is necessary, she longs for that breath of air that can save her in this drowning world of lies she has dove in to. If only she knew that this breath that she needed was divine. If only we knew that we were suffocating ourselves.
Anyway, the girl that I gave advice to. I told her that she will be entering this stage similar to Julie Taylor. This stage where she thinks she knows whats best for her. Her parents and teachers won't give her, her "own personal space." You think that's what you want, but that isn't going to help you. "I just need some respect from them. They want me to respect them, but if you want it, you gotta give it." That doesn't matter. Show them love, and you'll be surprised how much love you will get back. Your parents have held you and kept you alive since the day you were born...you probably don't know what's best for you.
I soon realized that I needed to hear this more so for myself than for her. My Father loves me. He's kept me alive since the day I was born. When I was suffocating myself, He restored me with a divine breath. And yet, daily I know better than he does. And daily I suffocate myself to the point of death. Like Lazarus, he commands me to come back to life, to Him. And I do...
Lord,
I am a man of sorrow. A man of death. Corruption. Hurt. Pain. Save me. Allow me to cling to you. For myself and for those around me. I want to bring life to others because you first gave me life. Through you, let me pity the afflicted and shield the joyous. And all for Your love's sake. Amen.
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